Image Credit - @Alex_elle
Hi, My name is Anonymous, and with sweaty palms, fear, uncertainty, and the desire to find a purpose to live, I am choosing to share my road to recovery, my undiluted "truth" and my way of seeing life at the moment.
I am choosing to be anonymous because I could be anybody, I am just anybody, and I am not doing this to show you the "right' way because "right" is subjective anyway, but I am doing this to feel "connected" with someone or anyone, through my writing, who might be going through the phases of trying to find self worth, self love, and understand why life happens!
I am choosing to be anonymous because I could be anybody, I am just anybody, and I am not doing this to show you the "right' way because "right" is subjective anyway, but I am doing this to feel "connected" with someone or anyone, through my writing, who might be going through the phases of trying to find self worth, self love, and understand why life happens!
I am still learning and I am open to learning more!
So no I do not have all the answers, I don't exactly wish to fit into anyone's idea of "right", all I know is I just want to be happy!
So, please read these chronicles with an open mind, and understand that the happenstances of life, tend to push us as humans, into the "movements" that align with our values, for sanity reasons.
Gentle Kind Warning In Advance (Hehe): It might take me a while to occasionally consistently put up these chronicles, based on how easy it is for me to be able to gather these thoughts to write!
The perfectionist in me!
So, Sometime Last Year, A Few Weeks Before My Birthday Actually, I Was Diagnosed With Being Borderline Suicidal & Depression!
Anxiety Was Additionally An Issue!
Anxiety Was Additionally An Issue!
Still Sounds Pretty Much Interesting To Me!, And It Also Took A While To Start To Accept (Still Trying To Accept It).
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Now I Don't Even Know How To Start, But Let Me Start By Saying That "Depression Does NOT Have A Face"!
And Victims Are Not Oftentimes Aware Of The Signs 'Until They Are Made Aware"
But They Are Aware Of The "Feelings' Which Can Come Off As "Normal"!
Let Me Give You A Drift!
And Victims Are Not Oftentimes Aware Of The Signs 'Until They Are Made Aware"
But They Are Aware Of The "Feelings' Which Can Come Off As "Normal"!
Let Me Give You A Drift!
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I Have One Particular Picture, That Whenever I Look At These Days, Reminds Me Of The "Emptiness" I Felt In That Picture.
Two Years Ago, I Used The Picture As A "Visual" To Inform My Timeline That It Was My Birthday, Even Though It Wasn't Taken On My Birthday!
I Didn't Have A Phone That Period, So I Used My Sister's Phone To Upload, But I Remember Feeling Empty, Lonely And Sad That Day, And I Think I Just Wanted To Feel Something Else.
I Have One Particular Picture, That Whenever I Look At These Days, Reminds Me Of The "Emptiness" I Felt In That Picture.
Two Years Ago, I Used The Picture As A "Visual" To Inform My Timeline That It Was My Birthday, Even Though It Wasn't Taken On My Birthday!
I Didn't Have A Phone That Period, So I Used My Sister's Phone To Upload, But I Remember Feeling Empty, Lonely And Sad That Day, And I Think I Just Wanted To Feel Something Else.
I Filtered That Picture To Black/White Because I Felt Like My Eyes Looked "Sad"; Filter Would Hide The Sad Eyes, And I Didn't Want Anyone To Read The Eyes!
I Felt Lonely & Empty As I Would Almost Always Feel On My Birthdays!
Interesting Right?
The Signs Had Always Been There Would You Believe?
In My Episodes, I Would Tweet Subtle Stuff, And Yet Didn't Know My Feelings At That Point Were Valid Or Signs!
In My Episodes, I Would Tweet Subtle Stuff, And Yet Didn't Know My Feelings At That Point Were Valid Or Signs!
But You Know What?
I Was Really Unaware Myself All The While TBH!
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My Diaries Dating Years Back Had The Word "Empty" Often,
As "Writing" Was & Has Always Been My Friend!
As A Matter Of Fact, Writing Saved Me To A Large Extent, Because It Helped Me Understand The Signs More, By The Time I Became More Aware.
Like The Missing Pieces Of A Puzzle!
As A Matter Of Fact, Writing Saved Me To A Large Extent, Because It Helped Me Understand The Signs More, By The Time I Became More Aware.
Like The Missing Pieces Of A Puzzle!
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Depression Is A Battle That Must Be Fought, & Also VERY Different & Unique To Each Person So There Is No Competition Of Whose's Story Sounds More Hectic!
Don't Tell Someone "Your Own Is Small"
Don't Tell Someone "You Want Attention"
In General, Don't Invalidate/Compare Experiences!
Don't Tell Someone "Your Own Is Small"
Don't Tell Someone "You Want Attention"
In General, Don't Invalidate/Compare Experiences!
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While I Am Very Much Still On My Road To Recovery Via Therapy; Knowing That No One Is Going To Do This For Me,
I Hopefully Would Share Details Maybe, Of What Led To My Depression, Maybe When I Feel More Comfortable & Way Better, & Hopefully Not Get Labelled 😃 (Mental Illness Has A Weird Way Of Getting People To "Label" You),
But Most Importantly, I Hope To Show Through My Writing, My Own "Teachable Moments" On What Self Love Means To Me In The Short/Long Run, And How I Am On The Road To That!
And How Much I Hope To Win This Battle!
I Need You To Reallllllly Just Know That "Depression Does Not Have A Face"☺
I Hopefully Would Share Details Maybe, Of What Led To My Depression, Maybe When I Feel More Comfortable & Way Better, & Hopefully Not Get Labelled 😃 (Mental Illness Has A Weird Way Of Getting People To "Label" You),
But Most Importantly, I Hope To Show Through My Writing, My Own "Teachable Moments" On What Self Love Means To Me In The Short/Long Run, And How I Am On The Road To That!
And How Much I Hope To Win This Battle!
I Need You To Reallllllly Just Know That "Depression Does Not Have A Face"☺
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So On That Note, Welcome To My Journey!
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End Note - "Do Not Attribute Smiling & Being Jovial As A Sign Of A Healthy Mind"
It Is Veryy Easy To Fake Smiles Btw!
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#MentalHealthAwareness
 - On The Road To Recovery){kind=link}
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